5

THE  CABLE  MAN  COMETH

Cable television came to the Washington suburb of Arlington, Virginia, in the 1970’s, and the brick home Eddie and I had just bought on Lee Highway happened to be in one of the first neighborhoods to be wired up.  Not long afterward, during one of Jim Wright’s daily breakfast meetings in the Capitol with his staff, I mentioned how delighted I was with this new toy.

“It’s great,” I bragged.   “Besides the 24-hour news, we get all those marvelous old movies with  Jimmy Stewart and Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn.  And watching the House proceedings on C-Span—it’s better than a seat in the gallery.”

Obviously interested, Jim Wright looked up from his scrambled eggs.  “That does sound good,” he said.  “I’d like to get that service myself.  Could you check on it for me?”

“Sure,” I said.  “They’re wiring up the neighborhoods one at a time.  I’m not sure when they’re scheduled to get to your area over near Columbia Pike.  Let me check it out for you.”

By chance, at a recent reception on the Hill, I had been introduced to the boss of the cable company.   I looked up his card and gave him a call.  He was delighted to hear that the Congressman was interested in becoming a customer.  He promised to check immediately on when his neighborhood would be wired.  About an hour later, he called back.

“I’m sorry, Marshall,” he said, “but it looks as if Mr. Wright’s neighborhood won’t be wired for at least a year or so.”

As a good staff man, I saw that my duty was clear.  “That’s an awful shame,” I said slowly.  “Jim Wright doesn’t miss very many sessions of the House.  But if he were sick or something, it would really be important for him to be able to tune in C-Span to keep an eye on floor proceedings.

“And of course,” I added, warming to my pitch, “it’s absolutely essential for him to keep on top of what’s happening around the world, and the great coverage on CNN would be just the ticket.  And then too, his wife Betty—do you know Betty?--she really loves old classic movies.”

On the other end of the line, the cable boss was quiet for a moment.  “I think I understand,” he said finally.  “Let me see what I can do.”

What he did I am not sure, but it worked.  Within a week or so the Congressman was happily wired up as a subscriber to cable television.   Of course I saw no point in burdening Jim Wright with the exact nature of my little talk with the cable company’s head man, because I thought the story was over.  I was wrong.

One Saturday morning a year or so later, Jim Wright answered a knock on his front door.  There stood a well-groomed, businesslike young man carrying a sheath of papers.           

“Good morning, sir,” he said.  “I’m with the cable television company.  We wiring your neighborhood, and I wondered if you would like to sign up for our service.”

At this point you need to understand one thing about Jim Wright.  He almost had rather take a Texas horsewhipping  than to be compelled to say “No” to any request from a  friend, or even a stranger.  Maybe a small part of this is a politician’s professional need to be liked.  But with Jim Wright it’s deeper than that.  After 27 years I’m convinced that an earnest desire to help people is embedded deep within his very bones.  As he looked at the young man standing at his door, he was characteristically solicitious.

  “Well, I really would like to sign up for your cable service,” he said.  “But I’m afraid I already have it.”

The young salesman studied this older fellow in the rumpled smoking jacket and smiled patronizingly.  “Sir,” he asked gently, “why would you believe that you already have service?”

“Well, it was installed a year or so ago.  And I really want to congratulate you and your company on the service.  Betty and I find it very interesting and enjoyable.”

Obviously trying to be patient, the young man decided to lay it on the line:  “Sir, there is no way you could already have service.”

“There isn’t?”

“No, sir, I’m afraid there’s not.  You see, we are just beginning to wire this neighborhood, so there’s no way you could already have it.”

Jim Wright arched his imposing eyebrows and looked thoughtful.  “Well,” he said slowly, “I think we have it.”

“Why would you think that, sir?” the young man asked.  There was a touch of quiet pity in his voice.

“Well, we get CNN, and we get C-Span.  And we like to watch American Movie Classics.”

“On your television?” the young man asked incredulously.

Jim Wright nodded.  “But look,” he said.  “You obviously are working very hard to sell this service.  If  it would help you, why don’t you just let me sign up again.”           

“No, sir,” the young man replied, shaking his head as he walked away.  “Not if you think you already have it.”

Even today, after all these years,  I still savor an imaginary scene in which the dedicated young salesman delights his pals with the hilarious story of his encounter with the old geezer who was under the delusion that he already had cable TV.

When the Congressman recounted this conversation to me, I had only one regret.  I wish Jim Wright had told the young  man, “Yes--as a matter of fact, I like your cable coverage of the House of Representatives proceedings so much that sometimes I appear on C-Span myself.”